Spring 2002 Pastor
Kate asked us to tell the congregation of Our Redeemer Lutheran
Church in Grand Prairie, Texas
what God has done for us. Our church president was the first to speak. He gave a quick Hallelujah,
God is good, cheer leader presentation.
I could tell from the pastor’s face that is not what she
wanted. She wanted facts,
specifics. It took me two weeks to
put together my feelings. Here is my
speech.
“What God has done for me.”
is the question. I remember I was an ugly child and turned into an even uglier
young teenager. The tumor on the right side of my nose pushed my nose over so
and it's not square over my mouth.
I look like a boxer that had taken too many left jabs. My nose mouth combination looks like a Picaso painting gone very badly. I had many operations when I was young
to help my appearance. Don’t
know what I would have looked like without them. My poor parents did the best they could
for me in the late 50s. Many people treated me different through the years
because of my appearance. Many thought I was slow. In many ways they were correct, but not
in that since. But God has always taken care of me and I really don't know why.
When I was in my formative years maybe 6 thought 10, mom and dad tried to do
the right thing taking us kids across town to the Our Football Team Beat
You're Football Team Methodist Church in Midland, Texas. It was so boring. I remember always
checking the disposable Sunday flier to see who sent the flowers and was real
pleased one Sunday when it was us, well, dad. I remember there was a part of the
sermon which, when it occurred meant we would be out of there in about 10
minutes. I don't remember much about the sermons except one Sunday out of the
blue, they called my name and my parents pushed me to the isle to come to the
pulpit. The pastor
who I never remember talking to, said a few things, gave me this bible, and
said I was baptized. I got a candle
and something else but I don’t remember. I don't think we ever went back
to church after that.
I was 11 or 12 and quite by accident I happened to be riding my bike past a
local church that was open and people were going in. I was thirsty as it was
summer in West Texas so it was a good time to
catch the water fountain. I
remember I was drawn in. Maybe because the church was air conditioned. I don’t remember. I do remember the speaker told us of his
miserable life and made me feel sad. Tell the truth, I had no reason to
be sad. I had it all. Two parents who loved me, food on
demand. I didn't even have to ask
for anything. My parents saw to my every want and need. The speaker told us
what God had done in his life. Sitting on that pew, following his instructions,
I opened my heart just a little and suddenly I was filled with the Holy
Spirit. That was the moment I became aware of Gods awesome power and love. The
speaker asked us to come up and profess, but I was stubborn. How different my
life would have been had I come forward when called.
I grew a nice thick mustache, which sort-of hid my nose to mouth relation
thing. I was getting to the age where some people accept you for who you are
and not so much what you look like. My parents always said that time would come
but when you’re a teenager tomorrow won’t come soon enough. I met and fell in love with a cute girl
named Karen G. the daughter of a Seventh Day Adventist preacher. I knew I would
spend the rest of my life happily with Karen. But that wasn't Gods plan. Karen, well
her parents, let me go. I was
devastated for months. Moping around school one day, a girl popped up in front
of me and said "Hi" and was gone in the crowd. Elaine (Rudie)
Amendola and I celebrated our 25th anniversary last November. I wonder how
different my life would have been if I had married Karen. Pink Floyd did sound
like the Beatles. I hope everything
turned out OK for her.
Joined the Air Force, became a pretty good air traffic controller. Remember
now, in high school I’m labeled as slow. We went to Fort Worth where my daughter
was born, went to England
were my son was born. Went to Wichita
Falls where the kids were old enough and, I wanted to
do the right thing. Sunday I loaded the family up and we attended the Wichita Falls
Strictly For Local People Catholic Church. It didn't take long before I
figured out that visitors, especially Air Force visitors, were not welcome.
After 3 years in Wichita Falls,
Ru found a house she fell in love with. I had my eye on a small used bass boat.
We were seriously getting up the money when God stepped in and I got orders
back to England.
How different my life would have been had I bought a new house I couldn't live
in or a bass boat I couldn't bring with me.
I tried again to do the right thing when we were stationed in England. I took the family to the on base, Church
of the Nomad Warriors. Sundays from 7 to 8 was Seventh Day, 8 to 9 was Lutheran, 9 to 10 was
Catholic and they rolled out the bath tub in for the Baptist at 11. The very
first sermon we attended was about abandonment. The preacher was stuck on how
you have to abandon you wife and children to serve God. After Church my kids wanted to know when
I was leaving. There was no amount of explaining I could do. We never went
back.
Spring of 91, my Mom was dying of lung cancer in Arlington due to smoking
all her life. The military allowed me to move back to Carswell (about 20 miles
from Arlington)
to help my dad with the trauma. I arrived on April first. Ru and the kids were
hung up in customs in England.
I bought a car for us and found a great house. I was so excited when I called
Ru overseas on the 9th to tell her about the house. She said to go for it! The
10th I spent re-arranging our money for the down payment. On the 11th the Base
Realignment and Closure committee announced Carswell was closing. How different
my life would have been if God hadn't intervened.
God knew I needed something while the cancer wasted mom’s body away
from our very eyes. I asked someone if there was a happy Catholic? The answer, a Lutheran! I found Faith Lutheran Church on Southwest
Boulevard in Fort Worth, Pastor Richard Winkelman
presiding. I went a few times by myself and enjoyed his words and his people.
To my astonishment, my family didn't mind getting up to go to this church after
a few sermons.
My options due to the Base Realignment closing Carswell AFB were Enid, OK.
or, Minot,
ND. I really didn't lose a thing in Oklahoma.
I really enjoyed North Dakota.
I liked the day-to-day question of survival. I liked hunting in 20 below. I
found a nice Lutheran
Church in town. It was
alright but not like Pastor Winkelman in Fort Worth.
A year from retirement, we were going to vacation to the Montana - Idaho region
to look for home. Dad called with an offer I couldn't refuse. It would mean we
move back to Texas
but everything was right. It would be great for the kids. I put in my papers to
retire, which was approved. I called dad with the good news. His deal had
fallen through. I was stuck having to return reluctantly to Arlington. My plans at UTA didn’t work out
thanks to Dr. Cash (his real name). In our time of turmoil I decided to go to
DeVry, learned a new skill, and got a great job. Thought things were not always
rosy, we powered through it and now life is good. I wonder how different my life would
have been if I had moved to Montana.
I haven't been without my failures. While at DeVry one of my fellow students
was shot dead. An instructor commented there was no God. I was shocked. I know
what I should have said, but I didn't. I failed. Some time
later I was out to lunch with a group. A man came up to our table and said he
was hungry and had no money. I was too shocked to act. I had money. It would have been so easy to show some
Christian kindness but I failed - again. But God forgives me for these failures
and hundreds more. I know some time in the future he will ask me again. I pray
I do the right thing.
I know now, that God has been in charge of all of my life, for all my life.
Manipulating my ups and downs, making connections, corrections and, guiding
events. I just need to remember to
relax and follow his guidance.
Remember, I’m slow, but he knows that. God is with me now like he
has always been and will be with me to my end. I’m ready when he is. That is what
God is doing for me. That song, hymen 770. That is me.
Hallelujah!
Right after I gave my
talk, which pleased a few, I got the distinct feeling I was not so welcome any
more.
And even though I had
served as property chair for 3 years, suddenly, no one wanted to know me.
When I stood in the
church narthex before sermon, I stood alone.
I’m guess
I’m just not cut out for organized religion but that’s OK.
I know the big guy is
right there with me, every step of the way.